She’s Got Grit: Secrets of Grit from a career in Military Intelligence

Dianna Flett was was the Deputy Office chief across the water in DIA for the office that watched Afghanistan on September 11, 2001. Her husband worked in the Pentagon.

That morning she did not sit and watch the news from New York. Her morning, she recalls, went something like this.

11 Sep 2001, 0941 hours.

(Red phone ringing at the Defense Intelligence Agency, Washington DC):

“Regional Assessments Asia; Lieutenant Colonel Flett.”Caller: “There’s an inbound to DC”.Me: “Roger. ETA?”Caller: “Approx 2 Mikes.”

Me: “Any targets ID’d?”

Caller: “Negative.”

Me: “Roger, Out.”

Dialing: “Sir, this is LTC Flett, there’s an inbound to D.C.”

DIA Senior: “What’s your source?”

Me: “My husband in the Pentagon.”

Hard work in childhood

One of her chores as a young girl was to chop wood, but one Saturday she wanted to go to the mall with girlfriends, and so she rose early. She headed out into the cold dark morning, and started swinging the axe before 4:30 AM.

Her dad heard her working, and opened the window to ask her what she was doing. She yelled back that she wanted to go to the mall that morning with girlfriends, so she’d started her work early. “He didn’t tell me not to worry about the wood, or that I could do it when I got back,” she said. “If he’d have been easier on me I would have learned to be easier on me and that’s not the sort of approach that would have helped me with my Army career, raising four boys or becoming the CEO of my own company. We didn’t have a lot of money but we had the benefit of his leadership showing us that we could accomplish our goals if we worked hard enough.”

Flett was a free and reduced lunch student. Her father had not stayed in school past sixth grade, but she was a strong student, graduating in the top ten of her class. She took out loans for her first year of college at Rutgers, and was awarded a three year ROTC scholarship to get through the remaining years. When she graduated in 1981, she was commissioned as a 2LT in military intelligence. The year was not easy, though. Her father passed away that year at only 56 years old. “My father worked tirelessly to get us out of the coal mines, “ she says. “In the end, he worked himself to death.”

Early challenges as a junior officer

Out for a morning run with ruck sacks with the 513th MI Brigade

“I knew I was lucky to be heading over to the heart of the cold war standoff,” she says, but “I was also anxious about being so far away from my home in New Jersey. The thought of not being able to call my mom (especially after her father died) made me sullen and anxious.

“It was all so big and I felt pretty alone,” she says. “I think your first assignment can either prove you or break you when you’re a young lieutenant but I thought I was ready for the challenge. I wasn’t ready for Sergeant Dick.”

Sergeant Dick was a tall, thin man with a mustache and a sly grin. When she arrived, Lieutenant Flett made it a point to meet with the soldiers in her section, one on one, to introduce herself and establish relationships that would support future cooperation as a team.

“Things were going great until I talked with Sergeant Dick. He was attentive during my introduction of myself and my goals for the section. He sat up in his chair and seemed to listen intently.

Then I asked him about himself. He spoke softly, in a way that almost caused me to lean forward to hear him. But his words screamed at me.

‘I just want you to know ma’am, that I can lead any 10 men better than you can,’ Sergeant Dick said.”

Flett picked up the soda she had on her desk.

‘My goal while you’re here is to make you cry,’ said Sergeant Dick.

He sat back with a smirk on his face.

“The mix of shock and vulnerability I was feeling turned quickly to anger, but I knew I had to stifle it in order to be effective,” Flett says.

Throughout her tour with Sergeant Dick, he called Flett out on just about everything she did and she worked hard to stay on solid ground with her decisions and her leadership.

“At least I knew where he stood,” she says. “In retrospect I appreciate my chance to deal with his prejudice honestly but I never forgot the sting of that gauntlet thrown down so early in my Army experience.”

Dianna turning over her command with Battalion Commander Colonel Ben Brewer

Earlier challenges are formative

In August 1990, Flett was the battalion operations officer of a Military Intelligence Task Force on alert to deploy to Saudi Arabia just over a week after Hussein invaded Kuwait, the first major deployment of the Army since VietNam. Her unit prepared to send the initial team of 10 soldiers into theater with a 50 million dollar piece of intelligence collection equipment.

“I was selected to be the senior officer of the deployment,” Flett says. “There were only a handful of U.S. military in theater at that point. My battalion commander gave me my orders and when he went to the Brigade Commander to brief him the BC asked “Why is she leading the team?”

My commander replied, “Because she’s the right one to take us in.”

Flett on deployment with her soldiers

“I know it sounds odd but I thought of Sergeant Dick,” Flett says. “I was leading my team into a war zone and soldiers like him were the ones who’d worked me over the coals and gave me the confidence and competence to step up and take charge. I’m grateful Sergeant Dick gave me that challenge. I’m thankful I learned to look naysayers like him in the eye and prove myself and my mettle and I’m grateful that I knew I could stand strong in the face of doubters like the ones he represented. I’ve come to understand that my experience with Sergeant Dick and those like him helped build and reinforce my grit. By the way — Sergeant Dick never made me cry.

How does Dianna Flett define grit?

Now a mother of four boys, Flett has specific ideas about developing grit, too.

“(Grit) has to be instilled during that very early time in a child’s development when their brains are hungry for imprinting. Believe it or not 0–5 is when our personalities are formed. I think it’s imperative to challenge our kids so they can experience success and MORE importantly they can experience failure.”

Advice to new leaders

Diana Flett as a young captain

Flett also reminds new leaders that “It’s so important as a new officer to listen more than you talk. It’s tough to realize how little you know but really you are brand new to your job and no one starts a job knowing how to do it perfectly. Lieutenants are armed with the latest updates from their branches via their officer basic training. Your ability to translate book learning to knowledge and leading soldiers will develop into precise skills that will continue to grow over the next 5–10 years. Focus on developing YOUR leadership style. Find a mentor you admire and listen to their lessons. Self-examination is so important and your ability to maximize your strengths and work to overwhelm your shortcomings is important for any officer at any rank.”

When Flett began her first duty assignment after her father’s passing, she remembers her mother went through difficult times and she wasn’t able to be there. That was her hardest lesson from her years in service.

Diana Flett, founder of Girl Smarts

“I carry some guilt about not being there during the times my mother needed me. Selfless service is just that. You cannot expect to put your own needs, wants and desires first if you’ve pledged to selflessly serve. My mom went into a nursing home before I retired so I never really had the chance to be a routine part of her life after I left on active duty. I don’t feel like she ever really knew me as an adult. Sacrifice for service is very real on many levels.”

Flett continued her training with the FBIs Instructor Development Course and worked in several intelligence capacities before retiring as a lieutenant colonel after the birth of her fourth son. When she heard from her sons about the challenges girls faced in junior high school, she continued her selfless service, founding Girl Smarts, helping girls in fourth and fifth grades develop courage before facing the challenges of junior high school.

Dianna’s favorite books:

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey “Begin with the end in mind”; “Be proactive”; “Sharpen the saw”. All of those lessons have had a big impact on my leadership style.

Understanding Poverty, Ruby Payne Great insight to many of the girls I’m working to reach with my program. Only 4 percent of people are able to escape cyclical poverty and one of the ways they get out is through inspiration that there’s a better way to live their lives.

The Clowns of God, Morris West The ensuing journey and revelations about humanity and the beauty of our most innocent children; those dealing with handicaps and their absolute perfection in the eyes of God touched me profoundly when I read it in 1992. The message of our obligation to help and strengthen our youth despite what may be perceived as challenges or disadvantage has stayed with me.

Walkabout , James Vance Marshall. A book about two children getting lost in the outback and their amazing journey toward survival. In the end, GRIT doesn’t have to manifest in some amazing outcome or celebrity. In the end it’s about moving to a place where you’ve met challenges and overcome them to live the life you were told you couldn’t have; and YOU DECIDED you were going to have it anyway.

CALL TO ACTION: Download THE GRIT CHECKLIST: Secrets from fighter pilots and general officers at http://www.shannonpolson.com/thegritproject/

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